Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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