It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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