drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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