he wants to bone in the snuggie
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
