the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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