Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
