Are we in a gay sports bar?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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