Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
