no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize