If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
