she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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