did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
