You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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