i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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