I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
