I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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