So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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