Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
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