Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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