Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
3 2 1 whiskey
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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