he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
