seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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