I'm eating all of the evidence.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
