Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
