used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
