Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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