"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize