I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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