i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
