Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
