Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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