I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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