i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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