my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
