we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
