wanna go halves on a baby?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
