you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
