i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
