I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
