girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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