: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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