Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
