there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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