me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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