fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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