my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
