Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
