I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
