Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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