Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And then he peed in my hair
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