It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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