whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
