Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize