dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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