the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
