tonight lets celebrate not being married
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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