Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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