I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
