well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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