Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I could fuck to npr.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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