i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
