Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize